November 8, 2008

Hemo Globin
My Blood
My Body, USA

Dear Ms. Globin:

I would like to take this opportunity to express my extreme displeasure with your inadequate presence in my bloodstream today. An appointment for this afternoon had been made by me with the American Red Cross for the express purpose of donating my platelets. This appointment was made with the understanding that the hemoglobin levels in my blood would be such that my donation would be acceptable. However, upon my arrival at the Red Cross donation center, I was informed that your numbers were not sufficient to allow my platelets to be removed from my person, as I had hoped.

I am unsure whether this was a deliberate act on your part. Perhaps this was a conspiracy brought about by those crafty platelets as they did not wish to be forcibly taken from my bloodstream. What did they offer you, Hemo Globin?! What diabolical extortion did they exert upon you to force you to abandon me in such a disheartening way? I should have known those platelets would turn against me. Why do you think I need to get rid of them?! How could you do this to me when you've always been plentiful and supportive to me in the past?

I shall be filing suit with the proper authorities on the next business day. This defection shall not be taken lightly!

Sincerely yours,



The management would like to apologize for this breakdown on the part of the this blog's primary writing source. We shall return tomorrow for our regularly scheduled blog, after ingesting some leafy green vegetables. Thank you for your patience.
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