If men could menstruate … clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much. … Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields-"For Those Light Bachelor Days." - Gloria Steinem
This remarkable piece of artwork came from this blog. "On the Rag and Proud of It: Celebrating Menstruation!!" A very interesting piece about Aunt Flo.
- According to the Hebrew Talmud, if at the beginning of her period a woman passes between two men, she kills one of them. If she goes between them towards the end of her period, she only causes them to quarrel violently.
- The average woman has approximately 500 periods in her lifetime.
- She’ll also eat about 35,000 cookies.
- The length of the vagina will increase by as much as 50% by the time a girl has fully matured.
- The eye and the vagina are the only self-cleaning organs.
- The vagina is approximately 10 cm long.
- Other things approximately 10cm long
- a small banana
- Cell phone
- Estrogen hormone levels can increase by seven times during the normal menstrual cycle.
- PMS is caused by these hormone changes.
- Chocolate is the #1 food craved by women during PMS.
- Chocolate contains phenylethylamine -- the same chemical your brain produces when you fall in love.
- White chocolate isn’t really chocolate.
- A woman's body temperature rises by .5 to 1 degree every month after ovulation.
- A calorie is the energy needed to raise 1 gram of water 1 degree Celsius
- Number of Calories in a chicken burrito- 286
- In a beef taco- 369
- In 2 slices of frozen pepperoni pizza- 534
- Approximately 1 out of 5 women can feel themselves ovulate or ovulation's immediate effects.
- 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on television.
- 1 out of 3 dog owners has talked to their pet on the phone.
- 1 out of 2 billion people will live to 116.
- Women have used tampons for thousands of years- no one knows who came up with the idea of internal feminine protection. Tampax, the first commercially successful tampon, has been around for over 60 years.
"Lucky" Based on the performance by Britney Spears
Author's Note: When reading (or singing) this parody to the tune of "Lucky", it is imperative that the reader clearly understands and pronounces each syllable, especially if it's a four-syllable word in place of four, one-syllable words. Some words you may need help pronouncing correctly: Menstruation - Men·stru·a·tion, Irritable - Ir·ri·ta·ble, and Menopausal - Men·o·paus·al. If you don't pronounce the words correctly, the timing will seem off, and I work extremely hard on perfecting my timing. The only reason I bring these points up is because I found myself, the writer of this parody, saying the aforementioned words incorrectly, more often than not, by combining syllables.
This is a story about why girls need Midol...
Major cramping, bloating too
Pound, pound, pounding headache
Excedrin Migraine, two capsules
Is all it takes to feel great
They go...
"Isn't she grouchy, when PMS strikes?"
And they say…
She needs Midol, she's a bitch
And she scream, scream, screams when her jeans don't fit, pleading
I need tampons, any brand will do
Menstruation please be through soon
Hot and cold flashes, swollen feet
Not to mention she's irritable
And her head feels queasy, her stomach's uneasy
She can't wait to be menopausal
They go...
"Isn't she grouchy, when PMS strikes?"
And they say…
She needs Midol, she's a bitch
And she scream, scream, screams when her jeans don't fit, pleading
I need tampons, any brand will do
Menstruation please be through soon
"Best relief, and the winner is . . . Midol!"
"I'm a woman standing inside a drugstore fighting over the last box of Midol"
"Stupid bitch . . . give me that!"
"Isn't she grouchy, when PMS strikes?"
She needs some Midol, and boy does she scream
I need some tampons, any brand will do
Menstruation be through
And they say...
She needs Midol, she's a bitch
And she scream, scream, screams when her jeans don't fit, pleading
I need tampons, any brand will do
Menstruation please be through soon
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